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and the stars turn crimson...
This journal is my way just to reminsce about my day, vent if I need to and just remember the things that are important to me. It's my way to escape everything around and just have some me time. If you don't like what i've written simply get over it. This is MINE meaning I can do what I want with it. I'm typically not vulgar and I hope no one is offended with what I choose to write about and if you are then I apologize. Please feel free to leave comments if you wish.
“I'm just out to find the better part of me... I’m more than some pretty face beside a train… It’s not easy to be me
I wish that I could cry, Fall upon my knees. Find a way to lie. About a home I’ll never see
It may sound absurd...but don’t be naïve. Even heroes have the right to bleed
I may be disturbed...but won’t you concede. Even heroes have the right to dream
It’s not easy to be me”
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NAVIGATION
Let’s be happy
with what we have
enjoy the beauty in these days
sometimes we’ll laugh
sometimes we’ll scream
no one said caring was easy
BASICS
Name: Aubrey
Goes by: Aubs, Aub, Brey, Belle, Pawlikowski
Age: 16
D.O.B.:December 19th
Location: Baltimore
School: Kenwood
Grade: 12
Favorites: Ryan – Field Hockey – Ice Hockey – Street Hockey – Motocross – Lacrosse – Music – Science – Band – Shows – myspace – livejournal,.. anything else you can ask me or go to my myspace (the link that says sometimes we’ll scream)
MUSIC
Atreyu;; 3 doors down;; 3rd Strike;; alexisonfire;; as i lay dying;; brand new;; breaking benjamin;; bullet for my valentine;; death cab for cutie;; disturbed;; everytime i die;; from autumn to ashes;; goldfinger;; green day;; Jet;; Jimmy Eat World;; korn;; lifehouse;; matchbook romance;; mighty mighty bosstones;; motion city soundtrack;; norma jean;; old blink 182;; old lost prophets;; papa roach;; poison the well;; rise against;; slipknot;; story of the year;; straylight run;; streetlight manifesto;; SugarCult;; taking back sunday;; the ataris;; the early november;; the goo goo dolls;; the killers;; the matches;; the starting line;; thursday;; tomorrow never comes;; underoath;; and many more
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| so please, come home soon... |
[Saturday,
July 15th, 2006] |
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mood |
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 happy |
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music |
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Come Home Soon- She Daisy |
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wow. so just because i find my boyfriends vacation to be comical/sad all together i MUST update about it.
he's been in bethany, de with his ENTIRE family (extended and such) since last Friday... these are all of the things that have occured:
-his dog jumps into his dads laugh while driving (she's a LARGE but skinny whippet mix) and causes the locks to go crazy and not stop moving... this causing him and his father to get stuck in the vehicle trying to fix the power locks
-he gets to the house to find a swarm of ants
-he gets to the house to find that the airconditioning is BROKEN
-his father slams his head in the end of the mantle piece cutting his head open
-his father also does something to his nose
-his brother goes to pick up my NOOB of a sister in law in columbia and takes them FIVE hours to get there because she made him stop at a nature reserve
-ryan goes to the beach yesterday gets stung by a jellyfish
-ryan goes to the beach today gets stung pretty good by ANOTHER jellyfish while looking for seashells for me
i swear polish people these day =] he just needs to come home before i get him back in multiple pieces in a box. luckily, he comes home tomorrow
i need to start this again, i really do have the best intentions of doing so. Just nothing interesting has happened. i'll post pictures from my trip.
but as for now i'm heading to pizza johns for some italian GNOCCHIs oh em gee... they pwn EVERYTHING
Love you all... later kids.
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| thanks Julie lol |
[Wednesday,
July 12th, 2006] |
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mood |
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 content |
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music |
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the fray |
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its long but i liked doing it... it has A LOT about me that not many people know. And if you havent yet, check out the new layout
(Click here to post your own answers for this meme.)
| ✓ I miss somebody right now. (i've been away from Ryan for almost a month now, and i miss him very badly.) |
✓ I don't watch much TV these days. (pretty much always at night before bed, bu) |
✓ I own lots of books. (i absolutely love reading, but never have the time.) |
| × I wear glasses or contact lenses. (i'm the only one in my entire family who doesnt) |
✓ I love to play video games. (occasionally yes) |
× I've tried marijuana. (never have. never plan on it) |
| ✓ I've watched porn movies. (yes but it was at parties, and i typically fell asleep before hand. Except for the hockey party lol) |
× I have been the psycho-ex in a past relationship. (dated lots of guys but never have been) |
✓ I believe honesty is usually the best policy. (as julie said... USUALLY) |
| ✓ I curse sometimes. (........ anyway lol) |
✓ I have changed a lot mentally over the last year. (i've become more independent, and stronger) |
× I carry my knife/razor everywhere with me. (oh yea, you know it lol) |
( it goes on... )
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| Well i'm not perfect, just all messed up... I was losing myself to somebody else... |
[Saturday,
June 24th, 2006] |
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mood |
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 groggy |
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music |
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Everything I'm Not- The Veronicas |
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Alright kids, i need input... check out my new layout... i did it all by hand. It's not the best it too me an hour to do the codes and make the background but it's something new i guess lol.
I leave for Daytona Beach, FL on Monday, but i'll have the laptop so expect some updates while i'm there.
Also, i'm starting this thing back up FOR GOOD NOW. i just need somewhere to vent and myspace doesn't really do it for me.
I'm tired, and i'm waiting for Ryan to call blah. [PS] We are okay. We worked it all out and itll take time but we're going to be okay =] But he's in Wildwood, NJ right now, and he comes home the day i leave so boo.
But--- pros and cons before i get off for the evening
+ leaving for 2 weeks monday
+ finally tired at a decent hour
+ new layout to start things fresh
+ this is totally POINTLESS
- LOADS of packing to do tomorrow
- shopping for stuff and getting up early the next to mornings to do it
- waiting for him to call
- him coming home and me leaving
- i effing miss him
- people just suck
NIGHT KIDS!!
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| there's really no way to reach me... i'm already gone... |
[Wednesday,
May 10th, 2006] |
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mood |
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 depressed |
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music |
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Vienna- The Fray |
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so i haven't updated in a few months... that's honestly because there's is nothing that i want to right about. My life has taken a nose-first dive yet again... and i haven't been doing too well. I'll really update later but it's upsetting to talk about because it involves Ryan...
pretty much i'm not allowed to talk to him because of his grades. I get one call a day, and that call can only happen when he's in the car with his parents... which is 15 minutes... the weekends i can see him and talk to him all day... but school days i get 15 minutes. It's killing me, and i'm starting to fall apart. I don't smile anymore, i'm never happy, there's just no real reason to wake up in the morning because i know that everything has changed. Just i need something to help me... someone... because i'm not too sure i'm going to get through this. But again i'll update later... it'll be long but i'm sure someone out there will read it and it might make me feel a bit better to get it out and get some feed back.
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| I've got some friends some that i hardly know and we've had some times i wouldnt trade for the world |
[Thursday,
March 9th, 2006] |
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mood |
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Swing Life Away- Rise Against |
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Okay so i'm starting to suck at this again. But eventually i will get better.
Life as we know it has sucked lately. Ryan got grounded and now we're pretty much under restrictions of when we can talk to each other and for how long. We don't see each other all day, and now i can hardly talk to him. I have until 8 to talk to him everynight which means the nights that i'm out and can't be home until late i don't talk to him at all. So woo. It's been a hard adjustment but i'm getting accustomed to it now. Hopefully it was won't last much longer.
School is going awesomely 5 A's, 2 B's as of right now and there's still 2 weeks left so i am good to go. Disney World for band is only like 27 days away which makes me happy. The only sucky part is that Prom tickets are on sale the 3rd-8th... i'm in disney the 5th-9th. So i am definitely staying after to get them that monday. Speaking of prom i still need a dress... give me suggestions please kids. Me and Kayla are making plans to go bowling after prom, and i'm wayyyy excited for that so i'll have to call and make arrangements for that.
Last weekend i went bowling with some of the coolest kids out there and i love them all to death <33333 i've come to the conclusion that i really need to get out more, with a lot of different people. I love Ryan, but it's nice to have other people too.
School work is getting out of control... it seriously needs to be disney and spring break... NOW! But alright, that's pretty much it later kids...
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| i dig my toes into the sand, the ocean looks like a thousand diamons... i wish you were here... |
[Thursday,
February 16th, 2006] |
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music |
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wish you were here- incubus |
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So i'm leaving for ocean city in like 20-30 minutes... no school tomorrow thank god for that.
I'm sad that i'm leaving Ry for 4 days but i'll probably see him monday so that makes very happy, and i will DEFINITELY see him Tuesday. I love that boy with all of my heart =] i'll have to upload my pics of us with the snow.
I'll update more once i get down there. later kids..
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| concrete and water, she's looking for her daughter at midnight in torrential downpour... |
[Sunday,
February 12th, 2006] |
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mood |
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 excited |
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music |
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jaws theme swimming- brand new |
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No school tomorrow gg.
Now for a fun day of going over Rys and kicking his ass in the snow =] i love him. And i'm kinda excited cause we've been dating for almost 3 years and this will be our first time out in the snow together and we both LOVE the snow <3
no homework ftw kids. I only did it from noon yesterday until 3 today. But thank God i can finally have a break tomorrow.
My dearest Melis- i left you a comment back.
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| weekends without homework FTW |
[Saturday,
February 11th, 2006] |
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mood |
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 busy and worn out |
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music |
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harder, better, faster, stronger- daft punk |
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oh. em. gee. Who ever decided to give out the first official homework assignment is the biggest n00b ever. Even more so than Ry's brothers girlfriend... and that says a lot. They deserve to get pwned. And the thing is it's all AP history homework go figure... 2 outlines, and a 2 page essay. I mean seriously wtfzors... this is all completely unnecessary. I want my weekends back cause i've been working on all of my homework since around 4 and i'm tired of it by now.
There we go ladies and gentlemen... homework= teh ghey... to the max.
I'm loving this snow thing.. that means snowboarding sometime in the near future and i love me some snowboarding... although i shouldnt be able to =/ Cold + blown out knees = realllll bad idea. But oh well. I'm getting surgery soon anyway... thank you hockey for 12 years =]
And i'm thinking/praying for no school monday... i need to make up for the whole saturday i just spent doing homework. School... yea that can get pwned too.
P.S: my boyfriend definitely cannot type without making about a million typos, but he's still the best, and i love him. <3
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[Thursday,
February 9th, 2006] |
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mood |
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 tired |
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music |
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Lip Gloss and Black- Atreyu |
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paintxtheskyred's journal